I know this is a hot topic for parents new to secondary school so I thought I'd cover it here. These are just my thoughts...
Does my child need a mobile phone for secondary school?
The simple answer is no.
Would a mobile phone be useful for secondary school?
Probably, yes.
No child needs a mobile phone for secondary school. I know this for two reasons. Firstly, we never had mobile phones and secondly, our son (Sam) has managed 4 years of secondary school without a mobile phone - and he's fine!
There's no reason that this generation of children need to contact people more urgently than any other previous generation, they just feel like they do because everything now is so instant. We bought Sam a basic mobile phone before starting secondary school but he's never taken it. He's too worried it will make a noise in class and he'll be told off. So the mobile phone sits as home every day and this has actually never caused a problem. He walks to school and walks home and he's never needed to contact us during the school day - just as schooling was in our day, and in fact at all other times in the past. Having said this, I do appreciate that some children may feel safer with a mobile phone, especially if going to school involves public transport. We chose to send Sam to a school within walking distance of home to reduce the potential problems that incorporating public transport into the school day could bring. Children may feel more secure knowing they have a quick easy way of contacting parents, especially if the bus doesn't turn up and they're stuck. If this is the case, my suggestion would be to go for an inexpensive phone that is less likely to be stolen. It also means it won't cost the earth to replace of it gets lost - as lots of things at secondary school do! The other thing to take into account with mobile phones is social media. Thankfully Sam isn't into social media at all (and his phone is so basic it only calls and texts!) so we haven't had any issues around this but it concerns me that so many children, who are often too young for social media sites, are signing up to them. With this comes the potential for bullying and (very alarmingly) grooming. If you are going to let your child have a mobile phone which can be used for social media, make sure they aren't signing up to sites they're too young to have an account with, and I'd recommend ensuring you have access to their phone regularly so you can check they aren't in danger.
In summary, a mobile phone is not essential but can at times be useful. It's up to you if you choose to buy your child a mobile phone but if you do, I'd suggest keeping it cheap and cheerful so it's easily replaced if it goes missing and so it's less likely to appeal to would be thieves.
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Wednesday, 18 April 2018
Wednesday, 21 March 2018
Knowing the secondary school policies
This post might sound a bit dull but it can be an extremely useful thing to know. When I was a school governor, part of my role was to read through and update or suggest amendments to school policies. By law, schools have to have policies on various aspects of school life, and they have to be accessible (usually through a website) to anyone who wants to view them.
Policies are put in place to help staff, pupils, parents and school governors. They layout what the school will and won't do in particular circumstances. One of these policies is a Special Educational Needs (SEN) Policy and all schools should have one. Although you don't need to know the policy inside out, it can be a very useful point of reference if you or your child has a problem with school. The policy will outline the school's roles and responsibilities so you can clearly see where they stand. Don't be afraid to use these policies when you need to. If you feel your child is not receiving the care they should be, as detailed in the policy, then contact the school about it and quote their policy to them. Special needs children should be able to access the same education as everyone else and you can hold to school to account if they aren't able to.
I recently had a situation where my son was given a lower than expected mark with regard to one of his subject areas. I knew for a fact that the issue wasn't with the work or subject, but was in fact with the teacher. The teacher caused my son to be so stressed every lesson that he couldn't concentrate on the work he was meant to be doing. I had lots of contact with this teacher but she just didn't understand how to deal with him. I knew the lower grade wasn't down to his ability to work, it was down to the teacher. In this case I was able to check the SEN Policy and quote exactly what it said about him having the same access to education as his peers (including which part of the policy it was in). The school then had to sort out the teacher error, as she had effectively marked him down because she hadn't understood how to accommodate his special needs, in the way the policy stated she would.
There are policies on various aspects of school so if you're having problems in any area, I'd highly recommend looking at the policies first to see where you (and the school) stand. Don't be afraid to challenge decisions you feel are wrong and use the policies when you need to - that's what they are there for.
Policies are put in place to help staff, pupils, parents and school governors. They layout what the school will and won't do in particular circumstances. One of these policies is a Special Educational Needs (SEN) Policy and all schools should have one. Although you don't need to know the policy inside out, it can be a very useful point of reference if you or your child has a problem with school. The policy will outline the school's roles and responsibilities so you can clearly see where they stand. Don't be afraid to use these policies when you need to. If you feel your child is not receiving the care they should be, as detailed in the policy, then contact the school about it and quote their policy to them. Special needs children should be able to access the same education as everyone else and you can hold to school to account if they aren't able to.
I recently had a situation where my son was given a lower than expected mark with regard to one of his subject areas. I knew for a fact that the issue wasn't with the work or subject, but was in fact with the teacher. The teacher caused my son to be so stressed every lesson that he couldn't concentrate on the work he was meant to be doing. I had lots of contact with this teacher but she just didn't understand how to deal with him. I knew the lower grade wasn't down to his ability to work, it was down to the teacher. In this case I was able to check the SEN Policy and quote exactly what it said about him having the same access to education as his peers (including which part of the policy it was in). The school then had to sort out the teacher error, as she had effectively marked him down because she hadn't understood how to accommodate his special needs, in the way the policy stated she would.
There are policies on various aspects of school so if you're having problems in any area, I'd highly recommend looking at the policies first to see where you (and the school) stand. Don't be afraid to challenge decisions you feel are wrong and use the policies when you need to - that's what they are there for.
Wednesday, 7 March 2018
Knowing the secondary school Senco
The Senco is the Special Educational Needs Coordinator of a school. They coordinate TAs and support for pupils with a Statement or ECHP (Education and Health Care Plan). The Senco will also make teachers aware of special needs pupils within their classes and is responsible for sorting out Statements and EHCPs.
Even with a Statement or EHCP in place, it can feel like some school staff don't understand all the needs of your child. The Senco can help by informing or reminding staff of specific issues or triggers your child faces so that lessons go as smoothly as possible. As I said in a previous post, at our school it's possible to email staff with any queries. This is a wonderful tool and I recommend using it (if you have access) whenever you need to, to get a message to the Senco. A quick email first thing in the morning can ensure a massive stress for your child is sorted out before they even reach school. If you don't have this particular method of communication, then phone the school or Senco when you need to, so that messages get through to the right person.
A good Senco will be happy for your input and will appreciate all you do to get your child to school - especially on those really stressful mornings when everything is crazy and nobody's had any sleep! A good relationship with the Senco will help all of you incredibly as you'll be working together as a team rather than feeling like you're going into battle with school.
Having a good relationship with the Senco is essential. Remember they are there to help you and your child as well as the TAs and teachers. You will see the Senco when your child has their annual review, which is when you have a meeting to review the Statement or EHCP to check everything is up to date and still applicable. This is also when any amendments or changes would be made. However, I would also recommend meeting the Senco when possible in addition to the annual review and ensure you keep in close contact regarding any issues or stresses your child is facing.
Even with a Statement or EHCP in place, it can feel like some school staff don't understand all the needs of your child. The Senco can help by informing or reminding staff of specific issues or triggers your child faces so that lessons go as smoothly as possible. As I said in a previous post, at our school it's possible to email staff with any queries. This is a wonderful tool and I recommend using it (if you have access) whenever you need to, to get a message to the Senco. A quick email first thing in the morning can ensure a massive stress for your child is sorted out before they even reach school. If you don't have this particular method of communication, then phone the school or Senco when you need to, so that messages get through to the right person.
A good Senco will be happy for your input and will appreciate all you do to get your child to school - especially on those really stressful mornings when everything is crazy and nobody's had any sleep! A good relationship with the Senco will help all of you incredibly as you'll be working together as a team rather than feeling like you're going into battle with school.
Wednesday, 31 January 2018
The Great Importance of Listening
(Apologies - just after I decided to keep my blog more up to date, everyone got ill, including our dog(!) so once again it's been longer than I hoped).
In this blog post I want to focus on the teenager with autism and anxiety.
I think it's very easy to assume that when our children become teenagers, they no longer require as much input from us. However I want to challenge that way of thinking. I think our teenagers need us just as much as they ever did.
One of the best ways to support your teenager is to make sure you really listen to them when they're talking. Take an interest in what they're saying even if it might seem mundane. Know their lives, their teachers and TAs, their friends, their timetables. Know when they have exams or tests and in what subjects. By taking an interest in all of these things you will understand their lives much better than if you stop listening as soon as they reach the age of 13. You can genuinely take an interest when they tell you their friend was off school ill. You can sympathise when they have a subject they don't like or are worried about a test. An excellent way to reduce anxiety is to know exact details about your teenager's life so you can have conversations with them that matter to them. Being able to unload their stresses or talk about their successes to you will help incredibly.
A clear sign that your teen is stressed is by them not wanting to talk or by them getting frustrated with everyone. Often this can be diffused by asking simple questions about the day to breakdown exactly what might be causing the stress:
"Was Daniel back at school today?" (you know from talking previously to your teen that Daniel is a good friend and he was off the previous day)
"How did English go?" (you know from talking previously to your teen that English was a particular issue today due to the work involved)
"How was the science test?" (you know from talking previously to your teen that the science test was a big stress)
"Did you get a chance to talk to Mrs Jones about the computers homework?" (you know from previously talking to your teen that this homework was especially tricky and therefore extra stressful)
Often, once you've asked a few specific questions, your teen will feel much calmer and react in a more rational way. You're helping them to unwind and feel safe. By knowing particular facts about your teen, he/she will really know that you are interested in his/her life and this will reduce stress and anxiety.
I'd also recommend not having other distractions. Don't be looking at a mobile phone or tablet while 'listening' to them - this will make them think you don't care. Put distractions aside and really focus on your teen. If there are other children around (which I totally understand as a mum of 3), ask them to wait or do something else while to talk to your teen. Teenagers with autism need to know that you can hear them and if other people are trying to talk at the same time or you have one eye on your mobile phone, it will cause more anxiety and stress for them as they feel unable to engage fully with you.
In summary, listen without distractions and take a genuine interest in your teenager.
Thanks for reading!
In this blog post I want to focus on the teenager with autism and anxiety.
I think it's very easy to assume that when our children become teenagers, they no longer require as much input from us. However I want to challenge that way of thinking. I think our teenagers need us just as much as they ever did.
One of the best ways to support your teenager is to make sure you really listen to them when they're talking. Take an interest in what they're saying even if it might seem mundane. Know their lives, their teachers and TAs, their friends, their timetables. Know when they have exams or tests and in what subjects. By taking an interest in all of these things you will understand their lives much better than if you stop listening as soon as they reach the age of 13. You can genuinely take an interest when they tell you their friend was off school ill. You can sympathise when they have a subject they don't like or are worried about a test. An excellent way to reduce anxiety is to know exact details about your teenager's life so you can have conversations with them that matter to them. Being able to unload their stresses or talk about their successes to you will help incredibly.
A clear sign that your teen is stressed is by them not wanting to talk or by them getting frustrated with everyone. Often this can be diffused by asking simple questions about the day to breakdown exactly what might be causing the stress:
"Was Daniel back at school today?" (you know from talking previously to your teen that Daniel is a good friend and he was off the previous day)
"How did English go?" (you know from talking previously to your teen that English was a particular issue today due to the work involved)
"How was the science test?" (you know from talking previously to your teen that the science test was a big stress)
"Did you get a chance to talk to Mrs Jones about the computers homework?" (you know from previously talking to your teen that this homework was especially tricky and therefore extra stressful)
Often, once you've asked a few specific questions, your teen will feel much calmer and react in a more rational way. You're helping them to unwind and feel safe. By knowing particular facts about your teen, he/she will really know that you are interested in his/her life and this will reduce stress and anxiety.
I'd also recommend not having other distractions. Don't be looking at a mobile phone or tablet while 'listening' to them - this will make them think you don't care. Put distractions aside and really focus on your teen. If there are other children around (which I totally understand as a mum of 3), ask them to wait or do something else while to talk to your teen. Teenagers with autism need to know that you can hear them and if other people are trying to talk at the same time or you have one eye on your mobile phone, it will cause more anxiety and stress for them as they feel unable to engage fully with you.
In summary, listen without distractions and take a genuine interest in your teenager.
Thanks for reading!
Sunday, 8 July 2012
my book: FAITHFULLY PARENTING AUTISM
It's been a while since I blogged about my book and it's now available in more formats so I'm blogging about it again!
Faithfully Parenting Autism is the book I wrote to help fellow Christian parents of children with autism. It tells our story and offers practical help and advice on how to parent effectively, not excusing bad behaviour because of autism but helping parents to recognise where autism ends and bad behaviour starts.
The book has sold in the UK & USA and is now available as a paperback from lulu.com or amazon and as an ebook from lulu.com or through the iBookstore (prices vary). The book was also recently reviewed by The Good BookStall who were very complimentary & who now recommend it on their website (review below).
If you know anyone who could benefit from this, please pass on the details. Thanks!
http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=faithfully+parenting+autism&sitesearch=lulu.com&q=&x=0&y=0
GoodBookStall Review:If only we had this book to hand when we first realised there was a problem with autism within the family!
Nicola Maybury has written from first hand experience of learning to deal with an autistic child. Her suggestions are full of sound common sense based on what she has learnt about the subject and what she has done to cope with the very special needs of her autistic son.
I recognised so much of what she has written. Page after page I thought, ‘Yes, that is just how it is – if only we had been able to read this book earlier’.
This is a Mother sharing what she has learnt, not pretending to know it all but offering a helping hand to other struggling families. Her guidance on teaching her son about Jesus and a loving God and her invention of a TOYT(Thinking of you token) are excellent and worthy of wide publicity.
If you think your child has a behavioural problem then it is well worth your while looking at this quite short but very clearly written title.
Available from www.lulu.com
Reviewer: Mary Bartholomew (07/07/12)
Faithfully Parenting Autism is the book I wrote to help fellow Christian parents of children with autism. It tells our story and offers practical help and advice on how to parent effectively, not excusing bad behaviour because of autism but helping parents to recognise where autism ends and bad behaviour starts.
The book has sold in the UK & USA and is now available as a paperback from lulu.com or amazon and as an ebook from lulu.com or through the iBookstore (prices vary). The book was also recently reviewed by The Good BookStall who were very complimentary & who now recommend it on their website (review below).
If you know anyone who could benefit from this, please pass on the details. Thanks!
http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=faithfully+parenting+autism&sitesearch=lulu.com&q=&x=0&y=0
GoodBookStall Review:If only we had this book to hand when we first realised there was a problem with autism within the family!
Nicola Maybury has written from first hand experience of learning to deal with an autistic child. Her suggestions are full of sound common sense based on what she has learnt about the subject and what she has done to cope with the very special needs of her autistic son.
I recognised so much of what she has written. Page after page I thought, ‘Yes, that is just how it is – if only we had been able to read this book earlier’.
This is a Mother sharing what she has learnt, not pretending to know it all but offering a helping hand to other struggling families. Her guidance on teaching her son about Jesus and a loving God and her invention of a TOYT(Thinking of you token) are excellent and worthy of wide publicity.
If you think your child has a behavioural problem then it is well worth your while looking at this quite short but very clearly written title.
Available from www.lulu.com
Reviewer: Mary Bartholomew (07/07/12)
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